They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
