i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
