can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
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gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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