You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
