We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.