those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.