It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
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Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.