You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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