I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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