Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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