So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
