She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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