They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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