you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
