How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I AM VODKA MAN
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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