I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
