I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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