So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
