I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
