Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
