Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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