I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No subtext here. People are naked.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
