Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
