We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
