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"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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