But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
