Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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