Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
