She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
