I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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