He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
