peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i believe in u and ur pee
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize