There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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