It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
