Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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