did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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