STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
