Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
