So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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