I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
