So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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