So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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