wakey wakey hands off snakey
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
