life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
