I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize