You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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