these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
