Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
