I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
