He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
