i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
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I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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