Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
