My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
