I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
