I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
