yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
pray to the hookup gods
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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